Friday, 12 April 2013
Crawford House has been there for us twice now.
In August 2011, my wife Gemma was having a few problems in her pregnancy and on 18 August 2011 we went to our Hospital (Durham) as we had several times, just expecting Gemma to be examined and be sent home again.
When we got to the hospital a doctor examined Gemma and quickly ran to get a senior doctor, leaving the midwife to explain to us that Gemma was in labour and the baby was on its way. Gemma was only 25 weeks pregnant! We were very quickly rushed to the Royal Victoria Infirmary (RVI) in Newcastle.
When we arrived the doctors explained to us that because our son was so premature he would spend a long time in Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU), probably until his actual due date. It was such an emotional time, we did not know what we were going to do. Our baby would have to stay in the RVI and we live almost an hour’s drive away. I was shown around SCBU and was told about Crawford House, a place where we could stay while our baby was in hospital. It was such a relief to know that we could stay so close to our little boy.
Benjamin was born four days later on 22 August 2011 at 2:10am at only 25 weeks 5 days gestation (almost 15 weeks premature) weighing only 1lb 12oz. He was transferred to SCBU to be ventilated and put on life support. Gemma was discharged two days later and luckily we were informed that there was a room at Crawford House for us. Crawford House is located in the hospital grounds, only 5 minutes walk away from the ward. Gail showed us around the house, and it was more than we had expected.
Staying at Crawford House allowed us to be close to Benjamin 24 hours a day. We stayed there for 79 days until Benjamin was well enough to be transferred to our local hospital. Gemma stayed at Crawford House every night, but I had to work so I had to come home for three days a week. It was always a relief coming back to Crawford House every Friday night; with my wife and son there it always felt like I was coming home. We would spend all day on the ward with Benjamin and come back to Crawford House to eat and sleep. I remember two occasions in particular, once when Benjamin needed help with his breathing and we stayed with him on the ward until very late, and once after we thought things were improving and Benjamin was getting better, he took a turn for the worse and needed to be resuscitated and put back on the ventilator and life support. The hospital phoned us in our room and updated us on Benjamin during the night. When things were so tough it was a great comfort knowing that there was somewhere close we could go for some peace and quiet or a lie down when we were just so exhausted.
We spent every waking moment on the ward, and we would not have been able to do that had Crawford house not being there for us to rest and recharge. When we had visitors it was nice coming back to Crawford House for a cuppa after spending hours on the ward.
We also found it helpful being around families that were going though a similar situation to us. It was nice going back to Crawford House and speaking with other families; it gave us a sense that we weren’t alone in our situation. We made some good friends at Crawford House.
Benjamin came home a happy healthy baby two days before his actual due date, spending a total of 99 days in hospital.
A few months after Benjamin came home, even after everything we had been through, we decided to try for another baby and we were soon pregnant with our second child. Gemma had a pretty good and problem free pregnancy until one day she started to have the same symptoms she had had when she was pregnant with Benjamin. We knew what was coming so Gemma rushed to hospital on 10 September while I stayed at home with Benjamin. Gemma was immediately admitted onto the ward. She was told that there was only a small chance of delivering early, but they still wanted her to stay in hospital overnight. During the night Gemma’s symptoms got worse and our worst fears were realised, she was in labour and baby number two was on his way. Gemma was only 24 weeks pregnant. Jacob was born very quickly the next morning, 12th September 2012 at 12:58, 16 weeks early, weighing a tiny 1lb 9oz. We knew what kind of journey we were going to have. In some ways that knowledge made it easier, but we knew it would be harder this time as Benjamin was only 13 months old. Jacob was transferred to the RVI that evening, and it was comforting to know that if Crawford House had a room we could stay there and be close to Jacob just like we had been for Benjamin.
Once Jacob had been transferred to the RVI Gemma spent another night in Durham hospital. During the night she had had a call from the RVI saying Jacob needed a blood transfusion (the first of many). We were desperate to get to the hospital to see him and so the next morning when Gemma was discharged from hospital and we all went straight to the RVI to see Jacob. Gemma phoned Gail at Crawford House explaining our situation and she remembered us from the previous year. When we arrived Gail was more than welcoming; she allowed us to use Crawford House facilities to give Benjamin his lunch and gave us a room straight away. We were very grateful for this as otherwise we could not have spent the day at the hospital with Benjamin, it meant one of us could stay at Crawford House with Benjamin and one of us could be on the ward with Jacob.
Being able to stay at Crawford House this time around was even more important as we had Benjamin. He loved playing in the play room and watching DVD’s in the living room. As with any 13 month old, he did not like sitting in the hospital with us for very long, so we would take it in turns being at Crawford House with him. This time around we could not stay together at Crawford House every night as Benjamin missed being at home after a few nights. Luckily I did not have to go into work much while Jacob was in hospital, so we would stay in Crawford House together for at least 2-3 nights of the week and for the rest of the week Gemma and I took turns to be at Crawford House or at home.
When Jacob was a few weeks old he needed heart surgery and he needed to be transferred to the Freeman Hospital at the other side of Newcastle for this. Jacob was to be transferred to the hospital at 7.30am. The night before, Gemma and I stayed at Crawford House, leaving Benjamin with a friend for the night, so we could go to the Freeman Hospital with Jacob. It would have been very difficult for us to get to the hospital that early in the morning if we were not staying at Crawford House.
Jacob’s time in hospital was a little tougher than Benjamin’s. Jacob was on a ventilator for seven weeks and had quite a few ups and downs in that time. We stayed at Crawford House until Jacob was ready to come home (108 days) on 30th December 2012 which was 2 days before his due date.
Five months after Jacob’s birth we are home as a family enjoying each and every day. We do have a few appointments at Newcastle and on those days Crawford House are happy to allow us to use their kitchen to feed our boys.
We cannot thank The Sick Children’s Trust and Crawford House enough. Having a room and somewhere we could go for 5 minutes to escape from the hospital was invaluable to us. We also became friendly with Jennie and it was nice to be able to go to Crawford house and have a little chat. We and our boys will be forever grateful to all the staff.
By Michael and Gemma Oliver, Benjamin and Jacob’s parents
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