At just three weeks old our son Beau suddenly got ill so we took him to our local GP. Recognising he was very ill the doctor immediately suggested we go straight to our local hospital in Lincoln to have further tests. He was there for three days and diagnosed with late onset Group B Streptococcous Meninigitis and Sepsis. Suddenly he deteriorated so had to be transferred to Sheffield Children’s Hospital, two hours away from our home. Here he spent four days in intensive care.
During this time we stayed at the parent accommodation on the ward but after Beau was taken off intensive care we were no longer allowed to stay there as it was reserved for parents of children in ICU and high dependency units. Whilst it was obviously a blessing that he was doing so well, in the same breath we now had the added concern that we were left with nowhere to stay. Luckily one of the nurses on the ward mentioned The Sick Children’s Trust and Treetop House. She offered to make a call to get us on the waiting list for a room.
She called Ann, the house manager, but unfortunately there was a long waiting list as the house was so busy. But our names went down on the list and we kept our fingers crossed. For the next week my partner, Kieran, and I stayed on the ward as leaving Beau wasn’t an option either of us would consider.
The situation was immensely stressful. We were sharing a one person camp bed or taking turns to sleep in a chair whilst the other one slept in the bed. It put such a great strain on our relationship that the day Ann came down to the ward to tell us that a bedroom had become free I could have kissed her with joy!
The mental and physical cost of staying away from home too had been mounting up. Our families were bringing us food parcels when they came to visit, but more often that not we were surviving on canteen and vending machine food. At one point I got very ill from not looking after myself properly so when we arrived at Treetop House it was heavenly to be able to cook a proper meal for myself and Kieran. Just to sit down at a table and not have to balance my dinner on my lap or wolf down some food in between visits to the ward was a real mood lifter. I also found the simple act of cooking also took my mind off the day and gave me something to focus on other than Beau’s illness. In particular this was something that really made me feel at home in the house. Whilst I was making a meal, I never wanted for a utensil or a piece of equipment, it was almost like being a home in my own kitchen. It wasn’t just about making do, everything I needed was there, and this provided me with a sense of comfort.
As Beau was a newborn I really felt the strong urge to bond and wanted to breast feed him so it was a great relief to have the phones in the bedrooms which gave us a direct link to the ward. I would sit in the comfort of my room and express my milk and then call down to the ward near his feeding time and let them know I was on my way down with my milk to give to him. This was particularly important as the doctors had told me that the antibodies in my milk would help boost his immune system which in his delicate condition was vital in helping his recovery.
The rooms were so clean and in particular the bathrooms. The showers on the ward weren’t that great either so the joy I got from being able to just walk out of a hot shower and not have to put on a pair of shoes to walk across the room, but instead just climb into a clean bed and gather my thoughts was immense. In the early days on the ward I was like a zombie, running myself into the ground. You can’t underestimate the importance of a good night’s sleep when you are in a stressful situation like ours. Waking up refreshed the next day, you find yourself ready to face whatever meningitis has to throw at you.
Being in the house with other families also helped to share the burden. When you are having a good day you can share your highs and when you are having a bad day you take comfort in the fact that others know what you are going through. Whilst the support from your friends and family is of course wonderful, they have no concept of what is happening and what you are going through. The other families at Treetop House know first hand the trials that each day brings with them and I drew great comfort from my talks with other parents in the same position.
Beau is doing really well now and we are just dealing with his follow up appointments which are split between Lincoln County Hospital, Grantham and District Hospital and Sheffield Children’s Hospital.
When we were last at Sheffield it was great to see a friendly face in Ann and the team and as I was driving up the road and saw the flag outside the hospital I said to Beau, “look Beau, we are home”, and it really does feel like our second home. Although we have gone through one of the worst times of our lives, we also have some really fond memories of our time there and that is in large part due to the support we received from the Sick Children’s Trust and all at Treetop House.
Kate Tyminska, Beau’s mum
